


Palan is Different

by MamaDeb (PK_preservation_project), PK_preservation_project



Series: Fire and Rain [3]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Chakotay/Tom Paris (referenced), Developmental Disability, Elogium, F/M, Harry Kim/B'Elanna Torres (background), M/M, Mpreg, Pon Farr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 06:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PK_preservation_project/pseuds/MamaDeb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PK_preservation_project/pseuds/PK_preservation_project
Summary: Twenty-five years of a life well-lived.Character deaths.





	Palan is Different

**Author's Note:**

> Archivist's note: This story uses language that was more acceptable in the '90s than it is today.
> 
> Find Debra's work in other fandoms under [mamadeb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mamadeb).
> 
> I had been posting her _Voyager_ stories here (with her permission), under her user name, but AO3's recent changes on co-creators means I can no longer add her AO3 user name until she approves the request.

"Mama gone?" The young boy was sitting on the floor holding a soft toy.

"Yes, Palanka. Mama is dead." His father sat down next to him.

"Mama not come back."

"No. Mama isn't coming back."

"Palan-ka big boy. Not cry. Make papa proud." Nevertheless, his father could see tears in the boy's eyes. He touched his son's face.

"Papa is always proud of Palanka. So was mama."

"Papa not go away? Please?"

"Papa will never go away. I'll be with you as long as you live, my son." Tuvok thought that if wishes were logical, he'd wish that this promise would be difficult to keep. He'd first made it four years earlier.

"Thank you both for coming here. I know that you are each going through a difficult time."

"If you know that, Doctor, then you know that I need to be in my cabin, not meeting Kes in sickbay."

"On the contrary, Lieutenant. You need to be here. Kes is going through her Elogium."

"While I'm aware this is an important time in Kes' life, I do not see why this should concern me at this moment."

"Tuvok, Doctor...I'm sitting right here."

"My apologies, Kes. I'm under some strain."

"Yes, that's my point. You, Mr. Tuvok, are the cause of Kes' condition."

Kes and Tuvok looked at each other. They had been spending a great deal of time together, both socially and in the interests of training Kes' abilities. It was quite possible that Tuvok's pon-farr was causing her elogium. If so, they had forged a bond. She would be an excellent companion. Moreover, if they could overcome their physical and genetic differences, they could produce a superior cross.

Over the years, Tuvok had become skilled in reading Kes' face, but that was unnecessary now. She was smiling broadly.

"Kes, if what the Doctor says is true, and I believe it is, would you consent to be my companion? I would father your child if you wish."

"Tuvok, are you proposing marriage?"

"I cannot. I am already married. However, it is common for spouses separated for many years to take companions. My wife is certainly doing the same. I would be honored if you would consent."

"I do." Tuvok was relieved. And, somehow, he didn't remember that Kes would not live more than a few more years. She exhibited a wisdom that went lightyears beyond her actual age and she didn't seem to age any faster than the humans around him.

  
The next few days were a blur, as pon-farr days always were for him. He found that rubbing Kes' hands and feet helped satisfy his own urges, and they found they were more sexually compatible then they'd originally thought. Genetically, however, there were problems. It was nothing short of miraculous that The Doctor managed to implant a child in Kes' sack. 

Two months later, Kes managed to deliver a beautiful baby boy. Tuvok felt the same way he did when his wife had given him his other children. He'd been unable to experience the childhood of his youngest and he'd already missed one wedding. He would be able to raise Palan. 

  
Three months after Palan was born, Tuvok walked into their quarters to see Kes weeping over their baby son lying in her arms. "What is wrong, my companion? The child seems healthy." He took the baby and sat down in a chair. Palan lied there quietly. Very quietly.

"If he were fully Occampa, Palan would be a little boy now, going to school and making friends."

"He is half-Vulcan. It is logical that he would age more slowly."

"I know, Tuvok. I'm five years old today. Did you know that?"

"Of course. There is to be a celebration of that on the Holodeck."

"Tuvok - I'm *five.* I have four more years of life. And I just now realized that I will never see my beautiful boy grow to be a man. I'll be fortunate to see him reach adolescence. The Doctor says he ages about three to four times as fast as a human. That's early puberty. I just never thought of it in those terms before."

"Nor had I. Kes, there is much to be experienced on the way to puberty. He will know you as a mother. And I will treasure the days we will have left."

Kes smiled and extended her fingers. Tuvok crossed them with his. Then he realized something. 

"Kes. Is Palan the equivalent of a human nine to 12 month old?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Human and Vulcan infants have the same rate of maturity. At this age, Palan should be crawling and reacting to faces. Palan does not. Something is wrong. We must take him to be evaluated."

  
There was no party that night. That was the night that Kes and Tuvok learned that their son was retarded and that there was nothing The Doctor could do. Physically, he would be healthy, or so The Doctor hoped. But, even with proper care and therapy, Palan would always have a low intelligence quotient. On average, he'd be the equivalent of a human three-year old, maybe more in some things and less in others. He would need care for his entire life - perhaps thirty years. 

"Tuvok, promise me that you will always care for him, even after I'm gone."

"There is no need for you to ask such a promise. Palan is my son. He will never want for a parent's care. Not so long as he lives."

"I needed to hear that. I needed to know you still love him."

"Love is a human emotion. I merely feel...concern."

Kes smiled. She could feel the difference along their bond. Tuvok loved his son. She could relax.

  
The next four years passed quickly. Tom Paris died. Chakotay mourned but recovered. Captain Janeway married Jack from botany. B'Elanna Torres married Harry Kim. Other marriages occurred, and other children were born. After many tries, B'Elanna and Harry produced a healthy girl. Janeway had a boy they named Tommy. Tuvok found himself introduced to the children as "Uncle Tuvok." He thought it appropriate, as the ship was changing, becoming less formal. It was the children. 

Everyone now had a stake in the future of Voyager - everyone was an honorary aunt or uncle to all the children. There was no need to call upon the authority of a distant Star Fleet. Not when one was serving with brothers and sisters.

Palanka learned to talk at the age of one year, but remained delayed. His motor skills improved with therapy until they were more or less appropriate. He had no shortage of therapists. Everyone who had time helped. Palanka was a sweet child, aside from the occasional tantrum and he was well-loved. Tuvok accepted that he would never need Vulcan discipline, and permitted him to express emotions.

As the rest of the crew built families and relationships, the voluntary therapists and baby-sitters dwindled down to one - Vorik. He was patient and kind and Palanka loved him. Vorik was willing to spend all of his off-duty time with the boy. He even slept in their cabin if both had to be on-duty or away from the ship. The Doctor approved. Stability was important for Palanka. His own body was changing too fast for him to accept.

Kes began to age. At first, there were a few silver threads in her bright hair. Then wrinkles and pain in her joints. She aged apparent years in a single week, and confused her son. The crew walked around in a daze, waiting to lose her. Even the older children cried about Aunt Kes.

A day before she would enter sickbay for the last time, she sat down on the floor with her son, who looked like a human or Vulcan twelve-year old. Vorik left for another room to give them privacy. Tuvok stood at the door to watch.

"Palanka?" After all those years, the Vulcan diminutive came easily to her.

"Mama? Mama sick?" He touched the pure silver and thinning hair.

"No, dearest. Mama is not sick. I'm just tired."

"Mama tired, mama go to bed. Then mama not be tired." Kes smiled and hugged him.

"I wish that would help. Palanka, listen to mama."

"Palanka listening."

"I love you, Palanka."

"Palanka love mama. And papa. And Uncle Vorik. And Uncle Neelix. And Aunt Kathryn. And Uncle." "Uncle" was Chakotay. That was what all the children called him - and some of the adults now. 

She had to say this right out.

"Mama has to go away."

"Where mama going?"

"Far away. I don't want to go, but I have to."

"Mama come back?" Palan was ready to cry.

"No, mama won't come back." Kes was crying.

"Can Palanka go with mama?"

"No. Palanka has to stay."

"Want to go!"

"Who'll take care of papa?"

"Uncle Vorik. He takes good care." Kes smiled a little. 

"Papa will be sad if you go."

"Papa Vulcan. Not get sad." Pride in his voice.

"He still would be sad if we both go. I can't stay, so you have to stay for me."

"Why mama go?"

"It's my time. I don't want to leave you, but I have to. I will always love you, Palanka."

"Love you, mama." 

Kes struggled to her feet. It was very difficult because her joints were so stiff. Palan jumped up, too.

"Give mama a hug good-bye?"

"KISS mama good-bye. Then mama come back."

"I wish I could, my good boy. I wish I could. You be good and take care of papa."

"Be good. Palanka be good." She hugged her son for the last time and slowly, with dignity, walked away. She didn't want to scare her son by dying in their cabin.

  
Tuvok was with her at the end. She looked so frail, lying on the biobed in the sickbay gown. Her skin was dry and wrinkled, her hair thin and pure white. Her hand felt like sticks in his. She was beautiful. 

"Tuvok."

"I am here, my companion. I will remain here until the end."

"I know. I can feel you."

"That is good."

"Tuvok. We never said the words. I need to say them now."

"That is..."

"Illogical. I know. Even so. I love you, Tuvok. I love the time we spent together."

"I treasure it, as I do the moments with our son."

Kes smiled, and closed her eyes. Her body began to jerk and then it lay quiet. Tuvok felt the bond fade.

He touched his companion's face. She had no katra, but he needed to do the proper forms.

"Safe journey, my wife. I will never forget you."

He stood. There, behind the office door, were The Doctor and Kathryn. Kathryn was crying.

"I'm going to miss her."

"Yes, Mr. Tuvok. She was very special. I believe the proper form is, 'I grieve with thee.'"

"Correct, Doctor. I must tend to my son. Please, leave her body here until I bring Palanka back. He needs to see his mother's body."

"Is that wise?"

"Palanka is very concrete, Kathryn. He needs to be shown. He will also attend her funeral. I believe Kes left detailed instructions."

  
As soon as he entered his quarters, Vorik stood up. 

"Is she dead?"

"Yes. Minutes ago."

"I grieve with thee. And I will leave you with your son." He departed into the bedroom.

"Mama gone?" asked the four year old boy with the pubescent body and the infant mind.

Palanka looked at his mother's body and turned away.

"Not mama."

"That was mama."

"No. Mama not there. Mama gone." He was right. There was nothing there. Kes was gone. Tuvok took his son back home and put him to bed for the night.

  
The funeral was brief. Her body was cremated and blown to the skies to the sound of tears. Palanka didn't cry. He held on to Tuvok's and Vorik's hands and watched, wide-eyed, as the ashes spread in a tail behind the ship. All he said was, "Bye-bye, mama."

  
At Tuvok's request, Vorik moved into the cabin. Palan was getting rather awkward, since he was so much bigger than any of the other children, but so much behind all but the youngest. He needed constant supervision. In this way, he would have proper care.

Tuvok found that Vorik made a pleasant room-mate. He was, of course, very neat and organized. He was also good company. He was well-read and eager to learn new meditative techniques. While he did not share Tuvok's interest in horticulture, he soon became conversant in it. He was able to help Palanka, who was good with plants. 

And Palan loved Uncle Vorik for his endless patience and innumerable games. These were also therapy, of course. While not Kes, Uncle Vorik filled a place in Palan's life. 

A few months later, Vorik was helping a now-adolescent Palan build a very simple model house. Palan kept failing and making mistakes, even under Vorik's gentle guidance. Tuvok, who was working on the few reports he still needed to do, looked up now and then to watch.

"Uncle Vorik! Look. House stay up now!"

"Yes, Palanka. Do you think it will continue to stay up? Look at that wall."

Palanka tested the house to destruction - again. He gleefully gathered up the pieces to try once more.

"Papa! Look house!"

"Excellent, my son. It looks sturdy." 

"Look, papa! Papa Vorik, look!" This time the house stood up, but neither man noticed. "Papa Vorik."

"Palanka, it is time for bed."

"No. Want house!"

"Your father says it's time for bed, and it is. Let's see you get into your nightclothes, little one." Palanka reluctantly went to his bedroom. Vorik had laid his pajamas out for him, and his clothing was designed so that he could change easily. He didn't need a papa's supervision.

  
"Vorik. I wish to talk to you."

"Yes." 

"My son called you 'papa'. Has he done so previously?"

"No. However, I do consider him my own son."

"I think that that would be acceptable." 

Vorik raised an eyebrow. "Thank you."

"There is more I wish to tell thee."

"I am listening to thee." 

"We are both in need of companions, and my son is in need of a second parent. I can think of none better to fill the empty places in both our lives. Will thee be my companion?"

"Does thee wish more children, Tuvok? I would want children." 

"Companionship implies children. The Doctor has aided homosexual couples to have children in the past. I believe Carey and Jerron are expecting now. My marriage is heterosexual, so I have never carried a child. I would like to do so. I would be honored to carry thine."

"The honor would be mine. I accept thy offer, and thy son."

"This is well. When our son is asleep, we will bond."

Just then, a pajama-clad Palan ran out of his room.

"Look! All done."

"Indeed. You have done well, my son. I am proud, as always. Palanka, I have news."

"News?"

"You are going to have two papas - myself and Papa Vorik. Papa Vorik will move into my room." Vorik had been sharing Palanka's. 

"Papa Vorik? Going away?"

"I'm not going away, Palanka. I'm just moving to be with your papa, so I can be your other papa."

"Papa and Papa Vorik. Yes. Papa Vorik stay forever?" It had been a long time since Palan had smiled like that. It lit the room. Vorik touched the boy.

"As long as you live, my son." Tuvok nodded. He would someone who understood. "Now, we will see you to sleep." 

Palan obediently went to bed, clutching his soft toy. Tuvok noted that he would need new clothing soon. He was starting to get tall.

  
The bonding ceremony was a simple mindmeld. It went easily - a sign of a good match. The connection with Vorik was strong and proper. 

Then Tuvok took Vorik's hand and they entered his bedroom. 

They began by caressing the other's face. Tuvok poured himself along the new bond and felt Vorik do the same. Vorik had not been bonded before and he was hesitant. If it had been a pon farr, the heat of the fever would have driven him, but this was not a pon farr. Both were in control of themselves. It was rare that a first bonded copulation would happen like this. 

Tuvok gently guided his companion's mind. Vorik responded quickly and easily, accepting the guidance and building upon it. The intimacy of the mind to mind touch sparked an arousal in their bodies. 

They shed their ceremonial robes, carefully maintaining physical contact. Vorik was beautiful. His pale skin glowed in the soft light. Tuvok almost imagined phosphor trails as he stroked the young Vulcan's body. He felt the unusual contours of the male form and found that they were as pleasing as those of his wife's, as those of Kes. 

His own body was alive under Vorik's intimate, exploratory touches. He nearly gasped when the pale hands brushed his genitals. He could feel Vorik's curiosity and wonder. Vorik had never had relations before. Tuvok was not surprised. It was common to wait for the first pon farr with one's spouse - especially if they were bonded in childhood. Tuvok had not been bonded as a child, so he had been more free to experiment. There was one close friend in the academy whom Tuvok did not want to forget.

Soon, though, he led Vorik to the bed - proper as he was the older partner and they began to strengthen the psychic bond with a physical one. Tuvok took Vorik into his arms and began to kiss him and stroke his soft hair. Vorik deepened the kiss instinctively and ran his hands over Tuvok's muscular back.

And they found themselves making love. Gently exploring with lips and hands and tongues, they learned what they could about each other. As they did, their minds, still, ever, in control, joined more fully. Afterwards, they couldn't have said who entered whom first, who achieved orgasm first or last, who moaned or who remained silent. It was a rare and precious thing to make love for the first time without the heat of pon farr weighing upon them. Tuvok fell asleep in Vorik's arms wondering if his bond with his companion was stronger than his bond with his wife.

  
The next day, Vorik moved his possessions from Palan's room to Tuvok's - to their room. As was normal for newbonded, they found themselves touching each other as much as possible. The thought of parting was painful, but both had to go on duty. This morning, as a treat, they replicated breakfast in their cabin. Palan was delighted because his two papas gave him a choice of breakfasts - so much so that he didn't notice that they were giving each other far more attention than they were giving him. 

They did debate exactly when and how much they should tell the rest of the family, since they regarded such bonding as a private affair. However, they had not reached a conclusion when before they brought Palan to daycare. To Palan's obvious joy, his favorite sitter was there waiting for him. He broke into a run.

"Uncle! Uncle!" 

"Whoa there, Palanka! We don't run in daycare." Chakotay hugged him tightly.

"Palanka sorry, Uncle. Uncle, uncle, have two papas now. Papa papa and papa Vorik. Two papas!" Chakotay looked over the boy's shoulder at the two Vulcans standing very, very close together.

"Should I offer congratulations?"

"The proper thing would be to wish us a long and peaceful companionship, Chakotay." There were other parents in the former observation lounge. They heard the measured tones and turned to look.

"We were hoping to announce this in a more appropriate fashion, but it seems random events have taken over." Tuvok gazed fondly at his son.

Palan caught that. 

"Palanka random events? Palanka random events!" He tore himself away from Chakotay and began to dance around.

"Yes, my son. You are indeed random events."

He stopped dancing. "Random events good things?"

"Sometimes they are very good indeed."

  
There were those who thought that Tuvok had "remarried" too soon after Kes died. Tuvok could sense the disproving looks as he and Vorik ate together in the Mess Hall. So could Neelix. 

Neelix and Tuvok now had a relationship of mutual respect. Neelix had the endless patience to deal with Palan. Under his tutelage, Palan was even able to make some simple non-cooked meals. Perhaps it was because Palan was Kes' son. It was clear that Neelix still loved Kes, but he never showed any of his old jealousy when she bonded with Tuvok. She was happy, and that was good enough.

"What are you people grumbling about? We all miss Kes, we all loved Kes. She was a special person. Do you think Tuvok is any different?" "Mr. Vulcan" was long gone.

"Do you think he should mourn forever? Leave Kes' son with only one parent? Or do you think that Vorik would be a bad stepfather?" No one could answer that one. They all knew how much time the young Vulcan spent with Palan.

"You were all happy when Chakotay moved in with Ayalla. This is a good thing, too. We're a family and anything that makes this family happier is a good thing."

The impassioned speech at least quieted the grumblers, and time took care of the rest.

  
"How may I help you gentlemen?" It was a year later and Tuvok and Vorik were in sickbay consulting with The Doctor. 

"I assume you remember the events of seven years ago, Doctor."

"Of course, Mr. Vorik. I must say I'm surprised you are telling me this, as you seem to have solved that little problem on your own a year ago."

"That is not the problem, Doctor. As it happens, Vorik's time has not yet occurred. We wish to be prepared for it."

"How so?"

Tuvok looked at his companion and took a deep breath. "The pon farr is closely connected to reproduction. While Vulcans can and do conceive children at any point, it is considered proper to conceive the first child in a relationship at the pon farr. We would like to this."

"I see. How would you like to go about this?"

"We are not the first male homosexual couple to do this on Voyager, Doctor. I assume you know the procedure."

"An artificial womb is placed in the man who wishes to carry the child. The child is conceived in vitro either by combining the DNA of the two partners in an empty egg, or using the sperm of one partner and a donated egg cell. The embryo is then implanted in the artificial womb, and carried to term, at which point both the uterus and the child are removed surgically."

"Yes. We would prefer the first procedure, as there are no female Vulcans on board. And I will carry the child."

"Thank you, Mr. Tuvok. That was to be my next question. Now, these things take time. How do you propose to combine this procedure with pon farr?"

"How soon before the procedure could you implant the womb?"

"Several weeks. In fact, it's better that way."

"Good. You will implant the uterus in me. At the beginning of the pon farr, you will do what is necessary to create a child. At the end, we would implant the embryo."

"That would be three to five days, correct?"

"Correct, Doctor." 

"Consider it done. It's far easier than cross-species conception, as I'm sure you are aware."

"Indeed. We will tell you when the time is right."

  
The time was right about two months later, weeks after the womb was safely installed. This time, with the help of experience and of his companion, Vorik knew immediately what was happening. Chakotay and Ayalla would take in Palan (with help from Neelix) while his papas were occupied. Palan was six feet tall now. At a distance, he looked like a handsome teenager with smooth, pale brown skin, oddly shaped ears and tight curly brown hair. 

He didn't sound like a teenager, though.

"No!!!! Not want go to Uncle! Want stay here with papa. Papa, let stay, please! Palanka be good. Be quiet. Papa! Let stay! Promise be good! Nooo!!!!"

"Palanka, you have to go with Uncle now." Tuvok struggled to maintain his equilibrium. Vorik was affecting him greatly. "Papa Vorik and I will be very busy and we won't be able to take care of you for a couple of days."

"Nooo! Can take care of self!"

"Palanka, do as papa says and go with Uncle!" Palan had been more difficult than usual lately. He was undergoing adolescence and had no way of adjusting to the flows of hormones. He would be spared pon farr, but he was too close to them to remain even if they could take care of him. Even so, Vorik immediately regretted snapping at him. He took a breath.

"My son, Uncle is standing right here. You are insulting him and Uncle Adame."

"Good. Want to hurt Uncle. Want to stay here!"

Chakotay was controlling an emotion - he was ready to burst into laughter. The three of them were held hostage to a very confused little boy in a too-big body. He touched Palan's shoulder.

"Don't you like me anymore, Palanka?"

"No! Want stay with papas."

"Why, little one?"

"So papa not go away again." Palan was a little calmer. Chakotay led him to the couch and sat down next to him.

"Again? When did papa go away?"

"Before." 

"Papa doesn't go away." Tuvok had stopped going on Away Teams years ago. 

"Went away before. For operation. Long time."

"My operation kept me in sickbay one day. Palanka has very little sense of time. I should have remembered."

Chakotay nodded and turned to the boy. "Papa came back, didn't he?"

"Mama not come back."

"Papa isn't going anywhere. He's staying right here with Papa Vorik. They are going to be busy, so they are letting me take care of you. We'll have lots of fun. Uncle Adame will be there, and Uncle Neelix. We'll go on the holodeck and have a picnic. And then we'll come right back here. One week. Seven days. I'll make a game so that you'll know how much time. How high can you count?"

"Palanka can count to ten. One, two, four, five, six, eight, nine, ten!"

"Well, we'll work on that, too. Please come with me?"

"Not want to go."

Chakotay rolled his eyes, and hit his communicator. "Can someone beam Palan and me directly to my quarters, please?" He picked up the toys and luggage lying on the floor, where Palan had thrown them.

"Yes, Chakotay." 

As they dissolved, Chakotay began to look desparate. But there was no way Palan could stay in that cabin. 

  
He was burning. The fever was taking over his world and his actions. The other was there, and he, too, was burning. "He"? It had been "she" before, but...the connection was there and it seared through his brain. He reached out his hand and it felt like touching a furnace. The touch of the other was a brand, marking him, melting through his skin, through the shields around his brain. Their clothes were gone - had they melted, too? The other was in his arms, closer, closer, closer - a fire of animal passion that consumed his soul and his mind and his body.

His kisses burned as they discovered the other's body. And now he was the other, feeling *his* body answer. They writhed on the pyre together, piercing each other, becoming one with each other, over and over and over again. They couldn't stop, not for food or water or sleep. There was just each other and the fire and it burned. 

  
Finally, they awoke as themselves, lying in the semen- drenched bed and holding each other, exhausted.

"T'hy'la. Is it always thus?"

"It has never been thus for me, Vorik. Even when I first touched my wife, it was not thus. Thee makes me burn. I thought I knew thy body. Now I know thy soul. Thee are mine."

"I am. As thee are mine. I dislike that my body gave me no choice, no control and that thee also lost thy will because of our bonding, but thee were there for me and with me and in me."

The words they left unspoken echoed between them, a secret neither was prepared to admit outside the silence of their bond.

  
Ten months later, Vorik took the securely wrapped bundle from Tuvok's arms and brought it to Palan. The young man was sitting on a chair, wiggling with anticipation. He was six years old.

"Do you want to hold your baby brother, Palanka?"

"Want hold baby, please, papa Vorik. Be good."

"Very well. Be gentle. He's very small."

Gingerly, Palan cradled the tiny child in his arms.

"Palanka hold brother. Brother sleep. Brother have name?"

"Not yet. We will name him tomorrow. You will have an important job, you know."

"Job?"

They'd discussed this. They needed a role in the naming ceremony that Palan could fill without either danger or frustration. 

"Your job will be to take the special gifts that people will bring and give them to the baby. Can you do that?"

"Can do. Palanka holding brother. Palanka big brother now, like Jerron Dando big brother. Palanka big already, so bigger brother."

"Yes. Very good, Palanka. Be careful."

The baby began to cry. Palan looked agitated, so Vorik gently took the child to his other father.

Tuvok took a bottle of replicated Vulcan's mother milk (he'd declined the hormone therapy necessary for breast feeding)and began to feed his son. He felt a special connection to this little one. He'd never been pregnant before. It had been surprisingly easy. The uterus barely restrained his actions, although he did let his new assistant, Ayala, take much of his duties towards the end. It was only logical since he and Vorik would be on parental leave for the next few weeks.

He looked at his other son, rocking a toy like a baby. There was a special connection there, too. Palan's world was always new and wonderful and nothing bad happened in it. He knew that soon enough, this child would surpass his brother mentally and that Palan himself would soon reach his physical peak. This would happen and they would have to prepare themselves for it. He was not sure how, though, and he was tired.

  
The next child, a little girl, was carried in Vorik's body a couple of years later, after it was ascertained that Kopar was developing normally. Every moment was a moment of discovery, the way it wasn't for Palan. His youngest child at home was Palan's apparent age, so Tuvok had forgotten what it was to see a child grow up and learn. They named the little girl T'Fana and she grew strong as well.

  
The ship continued to change. Physically it changed because rooms were moved and changed and reassigned to meet the changing needs of growing families and shifting relationships. There were almost a hundred children on board now. Also, as they traveled, more and more of the parts were replaced by alien tech. Voyager was aging. Finally, Torres said that the ship needed extensive repairs that could only be performed either at a spacedock or on a planet. Preferably one with advanced enough technology to help them. 

It wasn't a hard decision to make. The ship needed the time and they all needed to be off of her for awhile. And soon the perfect planet came around. Of course they could stay for awhile. In fact, their tech level was such that they could actually trade without risk of violating the prime directive. The ship was placed in an orbital spacedock and they themselves were granted enough land that they could settle for a while and even grow crops - only crops native to that world, of course, but they were biologically compatible. 

They lived on that planet for a year. The children learned to appreciate weather and to meet new people. They learned to run. The adults farmed and repaired and rebuilt and learned about the native technology and culture. They even installed a holographic projector so that The Doctor could be part of things. Several families chose to have children during that peaceful time, so there were new babies. Palan, now at his physical peak, helped with the farming and the harvesting. He was physically strong and enjoyed working the plants. He finally had a chance to contribute, and he knew it. Tuvok was proud of him.

When the year passed, they had full larders, a fully repaired and operational ship, strong healthy children and an itch to be away again. They left a planet full of friends who thought their adventures were thrilling. Palan was given enough training to help in his mother's airponics bay. He could do the simple repetitive tasks well and enjoyed them.

This "Sabbatical" worked very well - it was worth the "lost" time. Seven or so years later, when an equally good empire offered its assistance, Janeway accepted.

By this time, the people on the ship had changed. Now there were teenagers, and it was decided that they should apprentice at whatever shipboard jobs they wanted to learn. The children were not given uniforms or ranks and called everyone Aunt or Uncle (Aunt Kathryn ran the ship, Uncle Doc ran sickbay, Aunt B'Elanna ran engineering and Uncle Tuvok kept everyone safe. Uncle helped everyone out and knew everything important.) 

Long before then, the adults had stopped using formal address or uniforms. It started to be silly - it wasn't like they needed reminding who was in charge or where they worked. They'd needed the discipline early on, when they were two groups of reluctant allies far away from home. But now they were a large family flying *in* their home. And families have other ways of determining rank. 

Palan was sixteen at this point. He was no longer young. He looked like a human in his mid-forties or so. His hair was thinning, he needed Retinox treatments and he was slightly stiff in the morning. Fortunately, he had been spared the pon farr. That would have been difficult.He looked older than either of his fathers. He had a job - he worked in the airponics bay under light supervision. And he still had his beloved stuffed toys.

He had a brother and two sisters now. His brother was already beginning an apprenticeship in engineering under Vorik, and the younger two were progressing well with their studies. They managed to find time to play with him as well, so he was happy. It didn't take much to make Palan happy.

  
"Aunt Kathryn! There's a large wormhole up ahead."

"How large, Keshia?"

"Big enough for Voyager. Should I send a probe through it? We have lots right now."

Janeway smiled at her apprentice, manning the helm. Keshia Torres-Kim was a teenager with all of her parents' beauty and brilliance. And, like a teenager, she was got excited easily.

"Good idea. Do it."

"Probe sent, Aunt Kathryn." These probes had been designed by Keshia's parents to go through wormholes, take pictures and return. The pictures would then be sent to stellar cartography to be analyzed. In this case, it took about a half-hour to get the results.

At which point, Kathryn Janeway made an announcement. They were going through. The wormhole, which was quite stable, opened in an area of space about five years from the Federation's borders as they had been 25 years earlier. Keshia piloted them through.

Many of the adults celebrated. Many of the children (many now adults themselves - a number, including Thomas Janeway-Dellon and Irene Delaney-Batehart, were married and expecting) were confused as to their fate, but heartened at the thought of five years to adjust.

Tuvok and Vorik were at their son's bedside. Palan was in his own bed, surrounded by the toys and pictures he loved the best. In his thin, old man's arm was the same soft toy he'd clutched when he heard of his mother's death.

"Be better soon. Want to work with plants. Plants need Palanka."

It was not logical to lie, but Tuvok was tempted.

"You aren't sick, my son. You are simply old."

"Old? Like mama?"

"You remember?" Palan never had a good memory. Now it was almost gone.

"Remember. Mama pretty, hair like sunshine. Then hair gray. Like my hair gray. Like Uncle hair gray." Vorik leaned closer. "What else do you remember?"

"Remember mama going away. Never forget mama going away. Going to her now." 

His fathers looked at each other.

"How do you know that?"

"Hear her. And Tom. Hear Tom, too. Be there soon."

Tom. He'd never met Tom Paris, but Paris was still present on the ship. Even so, Tuvok never heard Palan talk about him before. 

"Be there tomorrow. Then be better soon. Sleep now. Tired."

Palan held his toy tightly and closed his eyes. As he did, his breathing first evened out and then slowed. Tuvok held his companion's hand as their son left to join his mother. Again, he made as if to take the katra, and again there was none to be taken.

Palan was buried in space, five years from the Federation, in his favorite clothes and carrying his favorite toys. And in their cabin, two Vulcans wept.

Copyright 1997 Debra Fran Baker and NightRoads Associates


End file.
